What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops