Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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yo mama's so fat!!!

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

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How did the boy die? Because he got molested and raped by a pedophile!

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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Give this a thumbs up cuz mi spelin is baad

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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Maturity is a virtue.

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b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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