Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

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want a balloon? yeah

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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