What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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Stop being a centipede

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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Penal Dysfunction

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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A

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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