Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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Okay, one second.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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Yes.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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