A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

.....Carrot Top....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Mrs. Welsh

thumb_up thumb_down -13

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A chinese man walks into a bar, and he see's his friends they are black, mexican, white, and paki. This is their meeting place for their group on racial equality.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i saw your mom, i said hi

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops