what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

So a black man hails a taxi...

A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

How do you survive the plague? you dont.

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

What is brown and sticky? A stick

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

The WNBA

Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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