Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

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There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

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Question: What is black and white and read all over? Guess: A newspaper? Answer: No. A zebra that was shot by a poacher. Poaching is a serious problem all over the world and should be looked down upon by all. It is not something to joke about.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

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Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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Matty B

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Who is worse than Justin Bieber? Hitler

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: Why did Sally not like her trip to Hawaii? A: A volcano erupted and killed her whole family.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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