How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

Wade

How did th-A fridge.

Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

Yo mamas so fat

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

How do you keep a blond in suspense?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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