ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I LOVE YOUR MOMA CAUSE SHE STINKS OF POO :) BY VICKY CASSIDY, RENATA SZABO, ELLA AND HEIDI MCMILLAN

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

thumb_up thumb_down -33

lyren is a big meanyhead

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did Jane scared of the video about a clown dancing in the room? Because it was her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what is worse then going to school farlingaye

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

thumb_up thumb_down -43

a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

thumb_up thumb_down -49

4 strangers are shopping at the mall. The big one does a trick and then the small one was good. The bad was small like a tree, seven days later the short one was having a party with a pretty lady. To the teacher was morning and everyone did happy times.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the mexican get for his brthday? A potatoe

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops