Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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What is 2+2? 4!

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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poopoo

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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What's the deal with airline food?

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Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

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Snooki

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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