What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

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What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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what's the worst thing ever? reality TV shows and singing contest shows

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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What time is it? Refrigerator

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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What did the skateboarder do when he was trying to do an ollie kickflip 360 and tailslide on a rail and dismount heelflip to manual? He fell

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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What happened when the black guy looked up his family tree? He discovered long-forgotten relatives who had lived during difficult times for African-Americans in the United States and faced disenfranchisement, extrajudicial killings, and chattel slavery. His sense of racial consciousness and solidarity was thereby reinforced.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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