A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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What's worse than the unwarrented death of six milliion Jews? The death of six million and one Jews

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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Knock knock ... *No ones home*

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Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the chin. Nearby people were disgusted at this act and immediately reported him for animal abuse. Today he is in prison

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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Black People.

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What do you call a black man in a truck A driver

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Your mama is so fat that when she farted she called it global warming

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

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My tractor broke down.

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Roses r red violets r blu I hav5 fingers the middle ones for u

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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