How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

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Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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Have you heard the deaf guitarist? He's really good.

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Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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