Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

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What is an Anti-Joke? This is.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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So a black man hails a taxi...

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Take off your shoes.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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