Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

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why did justin fuck alice and maliyah to have fun

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Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Wanna here a good joke?

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

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when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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oh hiya come in

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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