Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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you know whats weird about italians? their italian

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I pooped my pants

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

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Matt Damon

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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Garry Glitters on here

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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