Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... they sit down, have a deep and meaningful conversation about theism, and don't really drink anything.

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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