A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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26 because if 25 is funnier than 24, 26 should be even funnier right?

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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Girls Basketball.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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bum sex lol

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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