Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's red and hurts you? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down +30

there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

wanna hear a joke? no.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops