How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Halo < COD

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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What did the mexican get for his brthday? A potatoe

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

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What is an Anti-Joke? This is.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Mike tyson

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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