Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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since when?

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what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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8====D~~~~~~

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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What's really weird? It's you Greg!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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