Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

why were Tamika and Tyron afraid to get into the water? They weren't

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

knock knock whos there? how should I know?

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

this sentence will not monkey banana pie

Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

That didn't hurt.

what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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