What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

how did little johnny die? i killed him

What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

How many black guys does it take to change a lighbulb idk, you cant see its dark

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

Girls Basketball.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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