What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Whats Black and White all Over? Ask Your Mother

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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What's worse than finding half a sticker in your apple Half a worm

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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Your social life.

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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