There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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Why should you be concerned when you see a mexican riding a bike? because he probably wasnt wearing a helmet

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A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

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I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

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Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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baby loves lalma

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I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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