roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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How old is your mom? Old.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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