A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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¿melano?

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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Why did sally fall off the wings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there NOT SALLY HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU JK

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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