Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A jew go out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Banana wrote this...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the fat prick post on the internet? Because he was MorningAfterBoy

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops