Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Women's rights.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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Watch your lips.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Don't think of granny porn

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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