There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Obama

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What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Farts smell bad!

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them..

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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