Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

see ya

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

why does the man appear fat he is

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

thumb_up thumb_down +45

0123456789

thumb_up thumb_down +45

whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops