What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything.

Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

a

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...