How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Nobody cares.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

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Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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