wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -71

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

thumb_up thumb_down +62

How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +60

How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

thumb_up thumb_down +56

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +48

BWAT

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops