what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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What's the cutest thing about a redhead? I know, I couldnt think of anything either

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Dear Board of education, so are we.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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Q. What did the priest and the atler boy do in the back room of the church? A. Disscussed their feelings about the different meanings that could be derived from the daily scripture reading.

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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Josh kissing a girl

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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