Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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what is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

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I have a crush on my dad.

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Knock, knock (No one was home)

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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What abou three times

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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