Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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knock knock go away ok

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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