What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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A girl is on the phone with her boyfriend the boy friend has a rash the girl said put ointment on it ointment cures everything the boyfriend responded not cancer.

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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Q: Whats funnier than Ryan Vallee? A: The death of your family -RDV

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny and frankly, I do not see why people think they are so funny.

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a homosexual jump from a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? Society.

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hi

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Sarah Palin is President

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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