"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Your mum is dead

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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69

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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Penis in a box.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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