It's your mother, open the door.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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penis that is all

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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