Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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9:11 make a wish

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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