What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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newt gingrich

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops