what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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