What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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My sister has to take a dump

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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