Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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So anyways, can I have the last comment or not?

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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