why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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ruddell and dodds anal

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Anti jokes are funny

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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W.N.B.A.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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