A Jew returns change.

In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

but there is a road to the super market

Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

Five guys one rape.

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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