What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops