Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

38 studio's new game... Finance City

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

Brain fart

What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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