a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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