What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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