One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops