What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops