A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

Yanter, Look it up

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

0 + 0 = 0

Brain fart

whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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