Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

A muslim paints Mohammed

What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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