Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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