Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

What's worse than dieing? Not much.

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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