What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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