I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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SEX

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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