Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

Brain fart

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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