What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Jimmy Saville

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All of these jokes are about white people

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Cripples are lame.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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