Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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My mom

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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