What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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